The Dilemma

This question bothers me lately after the Local Board Exam "To work or not to work?". This question strikes me 2 days after the Board Exam when I do not have an Internet connection and been doing nothing except for calling Smart to ask what happened with my connection. Because of the hectic schedule on the month of October and November, I became used to being busy and doing a lot of things. And after 2 days of doing nothing, instead of feeling relaxed I felt a little bit annoyed. It seems that I'm a useless person just being dependent on what my father gave me and just spend the money he sent. Little by little, something behind my mind keeps telling me that I'm wasting time and money for doing nothing, why don't I look for a job and spend the money I will earn since I've been doing nothing for the past couple of days. Then one Saturday it hit me, while watching TV featuring those who became successful because of the wise use of the Internet, it suddenly entered my mind "What if I do the same? Use the Internet to look for a job".

Then I minimized Zhu Xian Online and open my browser then typed "Jobs at Philippines" and lots of link to web sites where one can look for a job appeared then one by one I registered there. There, they require those job seekers to post their resume there and the employer will just search for candidates for their company. "But how will I make a resume?" the question in my mind that night. Good thing some sites provide online resume like there will be sets of questions and I will just fill it up and after that, I made my own online resume. That keeps me busy the whole night until around 3 am.

The next day, I received a phone call from a Call Center Agency asking me if I could apply there and details were given on what to bring and all. I was surprised and don't know what to do. Then the day came, I went there and got an interview and failed in their reading test. I was expecting that because I was not ready at all, do not know what to do and I believe that what they are hiring are the superb applicants. That don't matter to me at all because behind my mind I was still thinking about my Internet connection. That same day I received a text message regarding another interview on another company but I just ignored it. I think I can attend another interview if my mind is clear which means after I have a stable Internet connection.

A few nights later, while trying to sleep I again browse at some of the companies that offer jobs to fresh graduates and I submitted an online resume to the company which I didn't attend to. The morning the next day, I received a text message that I am invited for an interview the following day and I said to myself "I will go this time". The next day I went there. It was not a company that directly hires Call Center Agents but it makes assessments to those applicants and endorse them to some companies which best fits us not only with the level of expertise but also our location. And from there, I learned a lot from the tips they've given me. From what I've learned there, I reflected on it.

On the process of my reflection I thought of these: "Will I go to the endorsed company?"; "Will I be able to give my best shot?"; "Will I be able to speak English straight with no signs of nervousness?"; "Will there be no turning back? What if the results of the board exam were released and passed, what will I do next?". On the first question, I said "I still do not know but I want to". On the second one I answered "Yes". On the third one, "Maybe". On the fourth one, "There is, I still doubt if I will stay with the company once I passed the board exam. If that happens, I will most probably look for a job where being a registered nurse is a requirement. Though it is still undecided."

Then I made an answer. "I will not look for a job unless I am willing to enter that job 100%. If  there are some things that are left hanging, I should stable it first before making the next move so I will not make any regrets. I do not want to tell a lie to any employers to tell to them that I will stay with them for what? 6 months, 1 year or even 2 years minimum well in fact at the back of my mind there are a lot of 'what if's'"

Then that left me to being alone again for the rest of December until January perhaps. Let's just wait, some things might change.